Stinky Pew Haiku
Sitting at church on
A Sunday morn while my brother
Soils his underpants.

Mustard and relish on a Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
My Aquarian and Sagittarian friends are the best laughers I know. By that I mean that they laugh longer and more frequently than most. They also tend to chortle at ironies that others take way too seriously. Best of all, their laughs are works of art: sudden, explosive, wild, and uncanny. I mention this, Virgo, because I believe you're entering a phase when you'll have the potential to mutate into an Aquarian- or Sagittarian-style laugher. Please take full advantage of this hilarious opportunity. Explore the untapped depths of your sense of humor. Give your laughter the chance to grow dramatically in its power to heal both you and everyone who is sprayed with the saliva flung out during your paroxysms of primal amusement.

I don't think I'm this funny...

As opposed to posting stories of the world and how aware we are, I'm going to post light news. It may be fluff, but at least it's fun fluff.

People tend to complain about the lack of any significant ethnic characters on the show Friends. If they do have some lack of whiteness on the show, it tends to be brief, but at least it can be interesting. Leave it to Talk Soup to find the character they need. Or Maybe the 5th Wheel? Oh wait, she's been on both those shows. At least she's not getting cancelled any time soon. Or even getting arrested. Apparently that's a good career move for some people.

I like steak. Well, I'm a meat lover in general, but I've been trying to cut down on my intake of red meat and carbs as they tend to just pile up the pounds. Protein isn't all bad though, and apparently steak houses are seeing a little revival of their own. It would be nice to go to one of those places someday. I can taste the A-1 already. Maybe I can be more manly and drive around an SUV. That tends to be a bit dangerous. Maybe it's more safe to go out and buy some new shoes. Actually, with the way some companies are selling shoes, that may not be so safe anymore.

Update tomorrow. I know, I know, I'm lazy.

Update shall be along later. Business to take care of first, and then perhaps an artist for you all to peruse, and a quote for the day.

Keeping the news short and sweet on Mondays is a good thing. For productivity that is.

If you all remember Daniel Pearl, then you remember what a great tragedy it was, and a testament to the horrors that terrorism can inflict upon society. I had no idea that Mr. Pearl was a fellow Cardinal alum. It makes the tragedy seem a little more closer to home, but no less tragic than before.

Any of you watching the news for any word on the Spider-Man movie sequel, they now have their villain.

Litterbugs irritate me. I feel awful for the CalTrans workers who have to deal with the trash that piles up on the side of our freeways. That's why I like their little protest.

The Grammys were this weekend and Norah Jones walked away with a boatload of gold. Good to hear. More jazz, please.

Fresh links, hot off the grill!

Your Movie Database
Zetuei
Endfile
Steve Brodner
Are You Generic?
Remie Geoffroi
Geoffrey P. Gaudreault
Ampuk
Red Design

Vera Wang, Oooh Haiku
I wear eyeglasses
We are all wearing glasses
Aren't we so stylish?

Clone You Haiku
Copying copies
That were copied from copies
Xeroxed by xerox.

Hyrule Haiku
Saving the princess
Zelda from Ganon's evil
Clutches is pure fun.

A toast, to your Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Many of us indulge in the fantasy that our lives would be wonderful if only they were different from what they are. Here's a corollary to the curse: No matter what the current state of our relationship to love may be, we always imagine that it should be better. If we don't have a romantic partner, we think we should have one. If we do have a romantic partner, we wish he or she would change, or we wonder what it would be like to be with another partner. That's the bad news, Virgo. Here's the good news: In the coming days, I predict you will find a way to feel perfectly at peace with the way your love life actually is.

Interesting, any idea what that means?

We'd like to think we work our way up from the bottom. Ambition drives many of us, but in Hollywood, it drives many more. I'd like to think those people have a heart but I doubt it. They have a heart, but not in the sense that they have strength. Sure they can overcome trivial adversity, but I think there are worse things to go through.

The National Basketball Association is rife with much drama this season. Not only have the Lakers been struggling after winning their 3rd championship in a row, but they've been kept afloat lately by Mr. Kobe Bryant, who happened to put in another command performance in last night's game versus the Rockets and Yao Ming. His season is definitely looking up. Unfortunately, there is another star who's season seems to get worse and worse.

In today's tumultuous political climate, we need to have a strong leader. One we can trust, and one who understands the American people. What does this say about our current president? Maybe it says he needs to call a few people for more diverse views. Or maybe he needs to look at some fish. Or maybe we just need a new president. Or maybe he just needs to find love.

Alan Davis was the first artist I started to recognize while growing up. Of British origin, Mr. Davis started his work, as many English comic book artists do, working for the science fiction anthology 2000 A.D. The incredibly polished look of his pencilling attracted many American publishers, and while starting most of his work for DC, Mr. Davis has spent most of his time pencilling many different titles for Marvel including high profile runs on X-Men, The Avengers, and perhaps most famously Excalibur. Although not working on a monthly basis at the moment, his guest stints will spike the sales of certain titles, and are always rife with critical praise. Not only for his artwork, but also for his quirky sense of humor. Who else could write an issue where the climax is a giant pie fight. At any rate, he's a favorite of mine.

Monday headlines people...

His Airness Turns 40
Technicolor Goes Technical
google.blogspot.com?
CIA Wants To Tussle
Reprimanded For Rape?
Suica Wa Ichiban
Total Recall Available Now
Daniel Day-Lewis Speaks Out

I Choo Choo Choose You Haiku
All hearts a-flutter
From chocolates and flowers
From true romantics.

Furries, Ew Haiku
People who dress up
Like animals to get off
Need serious help

Woolen Crew Haiku
In fluffy, white droves
They are following the flock
Only to be sheared.

Lovely little Valentine's Day Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):After careful meditation on your current astrological omens, I've decided on this assignment: Memorize the following lines, borrowed from a poem by Andrew Varnon, and say them to the person whose destiny needs to be woven more closely together with yours. "Be my ruckus, my perfect non-sequitur. Be my circuit-breaker, my lengthening shadows at dusk, my nest of pine needles, my second-story window. Be my if-you-stare-long-enough-you'll-see. Be my subatomic particle. Be my backbeat, my key of C minor, my surly apostle, my scandalous repartee, my maximum payload. Be my simmering, seething, flickering, radiating, shimmering, and undulating."

I want to be able to call someone my "ruckus."

It's that time of year again. The Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences has named their list of nominees for this year's ceremony. I like a lot of their choices. Especially the bold choice of nomination Salma Hayek for her work in Frida, which is on my list of "movies to see." Salma also appears on this months cover of Vanity Fair. Which is a shame since they're also at the center of this controversy.

You know, while we're all worrying about being assaulted within our borders, certain people just go about their daily lives. Take Steve for instance. He partakes in a little bit of leaf to forget his troubles. Some people like video games or playing with their computers. Some people end up getting hacked. It's a true shame though, that some of those people playing video games will lose a legend.

Comics and animation really are receiving a lot more attention lately. Maybe it's because there's so much nostalgia lately. Or maybe it's because Marvel has been performing so well. In my opinion, it's because more people are looking for an escape. What do some people have to say about this? Well, "Poppycock!"

Brian Bolland is next on our list of artists. Primarily a cover artist, Mr. Bolland happens to create some of the most realistic portraits of classic comic book characters many have seen to date. Not so much photo-realistic as they are realistically detailed, his work has an underlying quirkiness that catches the eye and makes Mr. Bolland one of the most unique artists working today. Studying his portraits, you can see he takes as much time as he can to complete an individual piece. Patience is a virtue, they say, and if patience breeds this quality, then I need to learn to work more slowly.

Monday, Monday, Headlines, Headlines!

Local Hero Makes Good
Weekly Magazine To Dabble In Tights
To Clone, Or Not To Clone
CIA SOG
50 Cent Worth Millions

So for some reason, I'm particulary lazy today and have decided not to post any links. If anyone has anything interesting they'd like to share, feel free to comment.

Saddam Who? Haiku
George Bush wants a war
Not for saving our wallets,
But to save his oil.

How Smart Are You Haiku
Mensa fills your mind
With numbers, patterns, and rhymes
But how smart are you?

Winter Hue Haiku
A socal winter
Is 75 degrees
For three long, sweet months.

Without further ado, a Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):Perfumes to avoid in the coming week if you're female: Addict by Christian Dior, Envy by Gucci, Baby Doll by Yves Saint Laurent. Perfumes that will bring luck and intelligence: Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden, Intuition by Estée Lauder, Vivid by Liz Claiborne. Colognes to avoid if you're male: Obsession by Calvin Klein, Mania by Giorgio Armani, Egoïste by Chanel. Colognes that will inspire good fortune and insight: Truth by Calvin Klein, Wings by Giorgio Beverly Hills, Safari by Ralph Lauren, Horizon by Guy Laroche. (PS: All the scent names referred to above should also be regarded as metaphors.)

Are they trying to say I smell? Either that or I should make sure my entire life is filmed in black and white for the week.

Because they get such an enormous discount, people that work at the Gap can also shop at the Gap at extra low prices. This is to help the fact that they're supposed to be wearing the clothes they sell at the workplace. According to a couple of lawsuits, this is infringing on the employees' rights to free uniforms. Looks like there won't be much of a 'love train' at the Gap for a while.

You know how you always see those quotes from critics about movies saying a movie is, "The feel-good movie of the year." or such stunning witticisms as "Great!"? Look at a smattering of interesting samples from certain "critics" in the industry. Maybe this explains the discrepancy between critic and viewer.

We all know who Jennifer Garner is. Not only does she have her own television show but she's also starring in a little movie that's going to be released soon. Remember her husband? He's got a new show too. Too bad I missed the premiere. Wonder if it's any good...

Today we highlight a very important artist in the person of Joe Kubert. Mr. Kubert is not only a stellar artist, but he is a pioneer in the realm of artistic education. Highlighting his style, his work tends towards a more realistic vein. Emphasizing the emotion of reality, along with a dynamic sensability, his artwork is quite versatile. It appears in everything from war, westerns, fantasy, and superhero genres. His recent work on a new Sgt. Rock graphic novel signals his return to major sequential work, but for the time being, his focus remains on the school he founded which still runs today. One of the only schools which teaches the art of cartooning and sequential art, it is a haven for budding comic book artists looking for a genuine place where they can learn the craft. His work ethic is something all artists can aspire to.

Busy weekend, very busy. But not devoid of some gripping front page headlines.

Nation Mourns Loss of Astronauts
Despicable Profiteers Banned From Ebay
Miyazaki Rules Annies
Ghostbusters Find New Life In Animation
Nyquil: Not Your Parents' Drug Anymore