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Without further ado, a Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):Perfumes to avoid in the coming week if you're female: Addict by Christian Dior, Envy by Gucci, Baby Doll by Yves Saint Laurent. Perfumes that will bring luck and intelligence: Sunflowers by Elizabeth Arden, Intuition by Estée Lauder, Vivid by Liz Claiborne. Colognes to avoid if you're male: Obsession by Calvin Klein, Mania by Giorgio Armani, Egoïste by Chanel. Colognes that will inspire good fortune and insight: Truth by Calvin Klein, Wings by Giorgio Beverly Hills, Safari by Ralph Lauren, Horizon by Guy Laroche. (PS: All the scent names referred to above should also be regarded as metaphors.)

Are they trying to say I smell? Either that or I should make sure my entire life is filmed in black and white for the week.

Because they get such an enormous discount, people that work at the Gap can also shop at the Gap at extra low prices. This is to help the fact that they're supposed to be wearing the clothes they sell at the workplace. According to a couple of lawsuits, this is infringing on the employees' rights to free uniforms. Looks like there won't be much of a 'love train' at the Gap for a while.

You know how you always see those quotes from critics about movies saying a movie is, "The feel-good movie of the year." or such stunning witticisms as "Great!"? Look at a smattering of interesting samples from certain "critics" in the industry. Maybe this explains the discrepancy between critic and viewer.

We all know who Jennifer Garner is. Not only does she have her own television show but she's also starring in a little movie that's going to be released soon. Remember her husband? He's got a new show too. Too bad I missed the premiere. Wonder if it's any good...