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Conversation 3
[enter two young folks, high on life, and low on morals]
“I thought Bert and Ernie were just good friends.”
“Well popular urban legend says they’re gay.”
“That’s interesting. I never would have interpreted it that way when I was young.”
“We’ve all learned a lot since then, haven’t we?”
“I suppose…”
“Anyway, so news has it that our mutual friend has ran into a substantial sum of money.”
“Really now?”
“It’s been confirmed, straight from the source.”
“We’ll have to pay him a visit then, with gifts of course.”
“But then he’d think us uncouth and ingratiating.”
“Let him think that, as long as we feel good about it, it doesn’t matter.”
“Of course.”
“How did he come about this cash?”
“Rumor has it Vegas played a part.”
“He’s quite the gambler.”
“That he is.”
“Actually, it wasn’t through gambling, at least not from what I’ve heard.”
“Now that’s something else entirely, go on.”
“Ever the entrepreneur, he went to Vegas a few weeks ago with a banner idea. Bring all the cash he can, gamble large sums of money, and get comp’d for everything.”
“No mystery.”
“Not strange at all.”
“So what was his scheme?”
“Get comp’d. Then. Ebay.”
“Ebay?!”
“He was to auction all of his complimentary items and while making money gambling, he’d also make money for free.”
“Not entirely brilliant, I don’t imagine the hotel would take kindly to having their suite auctioned off by a private seller.”
“They didn’t.”
“Oh boy.”
“OK, so he bets all his money, sets up in a comp’d room, and attempts to place his first auction. Not two hours after he’s got people bidding up a storm for comp’d rooms, comp’d buffets, and comp’d car rentals. The hotel gets wise, a couple of phone calls later, he’s got a visitor.”
“Knock knock, right?”
“Exactly, he’s got Biff and Meathead at his door waiting to shake him down for more than lunch money and drink vouchers. They're waiting to feed him a four-course meal of busted teeth and bloody knuckles.”
“Ouch.”
“No kidding.”
“So how’d he actually run into all the money.”
“Believe it or not, he hides in the shower and makes it out down the service stairwell with only a few minor bruises. Lucky sonofagun. He makes it out of the hotel and hides in the only place he knows he won’t be caught dead.”
“Where in the world could that possibly be?”
“Ever hear of the Olympic Gardens?”
“Your kidding.”
“Not at all, second floor, all night. Strikes it totally rich by dancing up a storm.”
“Oh. My. God.”
“Yessir.”
“That’s some hard-earned, and desperately-earned cash.”
“All the more reason to take it off his hands, I don’t doubt that he’s more than willing to part with some cash than let that story be spread all over.”
“Right, it’s our friendly duty to help him in this matter.”
“Right, let’s go.”
[exit stage left….]