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Since I haven't posted one in a while, I thought it would be worthwhile to give everyone a Free Will Horoscope to check out.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It just ain't natural for a Virgo to be a spectacular exhibitionist. We astrologers might be forgiven, then, if we've wondered how the singer Beyoncé could possibly be a member of your tribe, as she claims to be. Recently, the mystery was solved. In an interview with the Star, Beyoncé revealed that a character named Sasha takes over her body onstage. "There's no way I'd wear a short little dress and dance like that in front of all those people," she said. I bring this up, Virgo, because I'd like you to consider acquiring your own alternate personality. He or she could help you fulfill your current cosmic mandate, which is to climb to a rooftop or mountaintop or tabletop and do a song and dance dedicated to the person you want to be five years from today.

Let's see, shall I name my alternate personality Francois? Or maybe Reynaldo?