Chew On This

Haven't done one of these in a while, but what the hey, here's a Free Will Horoscope for you to chew on:

VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): Rural communities in southern Louisiana celebrate Mardi Gras with even more anarchistic exuberance than the festivities that take place in New Orleans. Roving gangs of masked revelers stop cars and good-naturedly demand money and gifts from drivers. Clowns with feathered headdresses knock on people's doors after midnight, begging for ingredients to make gumbo. Mardi Gras out in the sticks "is a lot like tickling," says professor of folklore Barry Ancelet. "When you get tickled it makes you laugh, but it also makes you feel uncomfortable." I expect it'll be that kind of week for you, Virgo. No harm will be done in the end, and the "tickling" will loosen you up, even if it sometimes annoys you.

As much as this 'tickling' is supposed to lighten a person up, it doesn't inspire a warm feeling. As a matter of fact, It invokes weird visions of being tickle-tortured in childhood and collapsing in a tearful fit of laughter. At the same time, just like the horoscope says, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Maybe it's a sign that I need to loosen up a little more personally. I've never been one to open up to many people emotionally, really. It might stem back to the junior high days where no secret was ever kept longer than a minute. There were times when I was embarrassed, laughed at, picked on, and suffered many a similar injury any nerd in junior high went through. I don't look back on it with bitter eyes, but it might have something to do with whatever insecurities or inability to connect with strangers I possess today. As a matter of fact, when I think about junior high, most of what I remember are the friends I did have, and wonder what the heck ever happened to a lot of them.

This blog, however, has been an exercise in opening up in a way. There was a time, as some of you might now, when the blog was more of a depository for links and miscellanea found on the 'net, and maybe even a place for me to stash ramblings of poetry and prose. Today, it's evolved into a forum of sorts, just like any blog, of interests and critiques. My only real problem with this blog is its lack of focus. The past everyday format made it easy to update, but I still think it would stand better as a part of something larger.

Maybe I should finish that website I was working on...