Before anyone gets up in arms about how obsessed I am with going to the gym and how it's driving me insane enough to run a full 24 miles, this post has nothing to do with fitness at all.
There's a blurb on the ol' Los Angeles Metroblog website that I found rather fascinating. Culturally, I'm intrigued because it deals with the roots of many Latinos and Chicanos in the Los Angeles area. Specifically, it's one girl's experience with what she calls Danza or to the lay-person, Aztec Dance. Myself, I'm not familiar with Danza at all and I'm only vaguely familiar with the East L.A. region where this event took place. Boyle Heights is someplace I've passed through, someplace I've eaten breakfast and someplace I obviously don't frequent that often, but reading her post raises something I've never discussed before: ethnicity. Well, ethnicity and how I feel about my own culture.
There's a few things that come to mind when I think of this subject. One of them is how I do feel very attached to it, another is how I feel very distant from it, and the last is how darn confused one can get. I think these are common feelings amongst many young minorities in the United States, especially ones who are much more than second generation minorities. Myself, being third generation, I'm very far removed from my own culture in the sense that Spanish isn't my first language, my parents don't even speak Spanish all that well, and I'm from Orange County. Does that make me any less Mexican? Well, that's where my dilemma lies.
There's a blurb on the ol' Los Angeles Metroblog website that I found rather fascinating. Culturally, I'm intrigued because it deals with the roots of many Latinos and Chicanos in the Los Angeles area. Specifically, it's one girl's experience with what she calls Danza or to the lay-person, Aztec Dance. Myself, I'm not familiar with Danza at all and I'm only vaguely familiar with the East L.A. region where this event took place. Boyle Heights is someplace I've passed through, someplace I've eaten breakfast and someplace I obviously don't frequent that often, but reading her post raises something I've never discussed before: ethnicity. Well, ethnicity and how I feel about my own culture.
There's a few things that come to mind when I think of this subject. One of them is how I do feel very attached to it, another is how I feel very distant from it, and the last is how darn confused one can get. I think these are common feelings amongst many young minorities in the United States, especially ones who are much more than second generation minorities. Myself, being third generation, I'm very far removed from my own culture in the sense that Spanish isn't my first language, my parents don't even speak Spanish all that well, and I'm from Orange County. Does that make me any less Mexican? Well, that's where my dilemma lies.
Granted, people are always confused when they approach me. Where do I lie on the ethnicity line? Am I full? Am I an ethnic mix of a sort? Can you imagine how many strange looks I get when I tell people that I'm of full Mexican descent? There have been rare occasions where people can outright guess that I have some Latin blood in me and even more rare occasions where people have tried speaking to me in Spanish, but like I said, those occasions happen to be rare. Quite rare. This is where the article comes into play. Do I feel any less Mexican because I had to learn Spanish in high school? Am I any less Mexican because I didn't know what Danza was or had never heard of it? I try not to think so...
In college, I had the opportunity to become a part of the Latino/Chicano community. Sadly, I can say I regret that I didn't take advantage of this opportunity at all. Why not? Maybe because I was shy. Or maybe because I was more scared that instead of embarrassing myself out of awkwardness, I'd embarrass myself by my comparative upbringing. People have laughed at me for being "white-washed," not being a real Mexican, and maybe even for knowing more about another certain culture than I do about my own. Heck, I've even had one of my uncles say that I should have been born Asian. How is that supposed to make me feel?
What I have realized now is there was no reason for me to be fearful. No one ever tries to be the best there is at being ethnic. At least no one I know thankfully. It's not a race to be part of your race. We're not running to the ultimate finish line where those with the most "street cred" win. Maybe that's why I find the post not disheartening to myself, but inspiring. There's a part of me that will always be happy cooking for my friends and teaching them about new foods or taking them to new places. Just as enjoyable are those times where I can learn new things about my own culture that I never knew. I could spend hours listening to my grandfather talk about his upbringing, working on the railroads, and being in the fields. I could spend more time reading about the Mayan culture, works from authors struggling with the same confusion and self-doubt, and soaking in all the knowledge I can. It's not about trying to better my "ethnic standing" though, it's about appreciating where my family came from and knowing that even though I may not share a similar background, I shouldn't feel it devalues my heritage.
Thanks for listening, now back to your regularly scheduled programming.
2 comments:
hey... my great-grandfather worked on the railroad & in the fields too. prob different ones tho, eh? :) it's what makes you interesting... coming from a chinese-canadian living in america with a taiwanese-ecuadorian roommate. :)
It's all so confusing isn't it? We should form a club!
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