The "HB" List

A friend of mine sent me the following list, I thought I'd comment a bit since it was kind of funny the first time around.

You know you're from HB if...

- You give directions using the beach as a point of reference.
I used to do this a lot when I was living at home.  "You take Newlad heading towards the beach..."

- You got mad when they tried to change the name to Surf City.
This was weird and sometimes I still think it's weird seeing as I don't surf at all.

- You got mad when Santa Cruz tried to claim that THEY were the official Surf City.
It's still hard for me to believe that people actually surf in Northern California.

- You've gotten drunk under the pier.
Nope, never done this one.  I'm a good boy, apparently.

- You know that the North side of the pier is local territory, therefore anyone else trying to surf there will be promptly run over by said locals.
Once again, I don't surf, but the North end of the pier is very sparse most of the time.


- You walk outside and can see at least 10 palm trees, 5 seagulls, and 1 tourist, at any given time of the day.
Very true.  I used to see this more often in high school which was surrounded by palm trees.

- You drive Beach Blvd almost every day.
Not anymore, but more often than not, I'd try to avoid Beach Blvd.

- You loathe the summer months when Main Street is flooded with tourists, so, as a result, you proceed to laugh at them any chance you get.
Actually, Main Street is flooded more often now that it's a tourist trap.  It's very easy to point out tourists there, but even easier to crack a smile when they're trying to score some food at Fred's.

- You know that not all surfers are stoners, have blonde hair, or say "dude" every other word.
This is true, since everyone has surfed at least once while growing up in HB.

- You freeze when the temperature drops to an artic 55 degrees, yet you complain when it gets over 80. (don't hate us because we've been blessed with good weather).
When it gets that cold on the beach, you thank the lord you brought a sweatshirt.  I know that I've been scoffed at for my aversion to the cold, but it's what I grew up with.

- You've attended just as many bonfires as regular parties.
More true in my childhood.  That goes to show that most regular parties are bonfires.

- You've ever ditched school and couldn't think of anything to do, so you just walked to the beach.
Yea, this has happened.

- You ever had a season pass to Disneyland.
I think this must have been mandatory.  It's even harder now that the passes are more expensive though.

- You cringe every time someone asks you if you're from "THE" OC.
I still cringe, especially since Newport and Laguna have to constitute less than 5% of the Orange County population.  We call it just "OC" but it's hard not to throw the "the" in there.

- You're used to people from MTV scouting the beach for people to be on their dating shows.
Never seen this, but I'm guessing it happens more often nowadays.

- You've ever had a Bravo Burger breakfast burrito.
Actually, I've never had one of these, but I have had a Bravo Burger.

- You've ever had Golden Spoon (come on, I had to include it).
Oh yes.  Is that place even still there?

- You live 10 minutes away from school, but you can get there in 4.
Ha. Try me.

- You consider stop signs a mere formality.
They call it the "California Roll" for a reason.

- You've become sickened by the growing number of hotels along PCH, yet you never pass up a chance to attend a party being held in one of them.
Never been to a room party, but I'm sure it's an experience.

- You hate tourists and send them to Laguna Beach when they ask where Disneyland is.
I'm not this unfriendly.

- You rarely pay for drinks at Starbucks or Jamba Juice because you "know people."
Well this is a new one.  Unfortunately, since I didn't know anyone working at Jamba or the Starbizzle, I never got the hook up.

- TK burger follows all beach trips!!!
TK what??  Where is this?

- You've been arrested.
Do I look arrestable?

- You've been to a REAL house party.
Strangely, the answer to this question is "yes."

- You've had your share of experiences at Central Park.
A couple friends of mine and I filmed a short adaptation of "The Scarlet Letter" with an all-male cast.  It was the stuff of legends I tell you.

- You know that sex wax has nothing to do with sex.
Anyone who tells you differently has never touched the stuff.

- You know that Las Barcas/Fiesta Grill/Chronic Tacos is the most legit Mexican food around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Too bad, I disagree.  Although the food isn't half bad, you can't get real Mexican food in Huntington Beach from these places.

- You know to walk directly to the back seating at Sugar Shack.
Sugar Shack: always crowded and not as good as Plums.

- You remember a beach town before the hotels, the gated communities and cookie cutter stores.
I'm not quite this old.

- You know all the cops hangout at Starbucks and will harass you at any chance they get.
Apparently, I'm a real goody-two-shoes.

- Your high school has won every surfing championship for 80 years, but has to forfeit your homecomming game (HBHS only).
When I was in high school, our football team was quite good.  Can you say "Tony Gonzales?"

- You know exactly how to spot a 909'er (you 951'ers arent fooling anybody).
951?  A little help here.  And yes, I can spot a 909'er for miles.

- You or your friends have been to Samoa, Costa Rica, Hawaii, or Indonesia; and you're dirt poor.
If any of my friends have been here, it's while they've been living away from Huntington.

- Your next door neighbor is 50 with long hair and smells like pot.
My next door neighbors were families with children, so no.

- You actually have to schedule when to park your car during the months of June through August.
This must apply to people who live within 1.5 miles of the beach.

- You don't exterminate your roaches, you smoke them.
Once again, I'm a good boy.

- You pack shorts and a T-shirt for boarding in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
I know better than this for the mountains.

- You know why the waves glow sometimes at night.
It's been way too long since I've been to the beach during the night. 

- Your children learn to walk in Rainbows.
Only recently have I discovered the sandal glory that are Rainbows. 

- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Huntington Beach.
Haven't done this yet, but it would be interesting to see their reactions.