I sincerely doubt there will be continued posts over vacation, have a happy holidays!

Make Your Own Snowflake
Moodstats
Humidus
Co-lab Remix
Littleloud Animation
UPSO
TH Design
OK Dialogue Design
Make Your Own Christmas Card

P.U. Haiku

Spending countless hours
Sitting 'pon porcelain throne.
Freakin' Taco Bell.

Winter Stew Haiku

Electric skyline
With pulsating thunderclaps.
Only in NorCal.

Fondue Haiku

Melted wine and cheese
Stewed up in a little pot.
God bless the French chef.

Busy Wednesday? I think my Free Will Horoscope might know:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Happy Holy Daze, Virgo! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday presents for you. What might inspire you to be in closest alignment with the cosmic currents in 2003? One recurring vision I have is of cheap gag gifts like whoopee cushions, fake ice cubes containing plastic flies, metal cans that purport to contain shelled peanuts but erupt with spring-loaded toy snakes when you open them up, and pencil sharpeners shaped like human noses. Why these? It's not so much that I think you need to liberate your inner child in the coming months, though that would be beneficial. What I'm even more interested in is inspiring you to be a bit more mischievous and a lot less literal. You'll be amazed at how much your chances for success will improve if you don't follow the rules quite so strictly.

Finding your inner child is easy. Especially when you have yet to grow up.

Lots of good trailers added on Dark Horizons. Including Terminator 3. For some reason I have a hard time really wanting to see this movie. I'm more intrigued by the X-Men sequel than by another Arnold Schwarzenegger film. Trading one mutant for another I suppose.

If people could really get good grades by Hacking, then maybe we can get good grades by stealing too? Well, probably not, but it's still an interesting precedent for schoolwork. Giving himself a D+ is bold though.

Seems things have really gotten out of hand in Los Angeles. The Feds have promised to assist in the city's ever-escalating gang war. Being from the suburbs, I've never really experienced gang violence, been asked to be in a gang, or even been hassled by a gang member. I should consider myself lucky.

The holiday season has tons and tons of movies being released with great potential for Oscar consideration. The Academy better be paying close attention because even the critics are taking notice. I have yet to see all that I've wanted to see, but one by one they are being checked off my list. Maybe I like movies too much?

More than a year after the terrorist attacks, the city of New York viewed several proposals for either a replacement or memorial for the World Trade Center Towers. This is definitely a good sign that we're attempting to move towards peace, but for some reason proposals like this one seem to get in the way of the United States looking like an ambassador of good will. For some reason we come off looking like bullies. I can't imagine why... maybe it has something to do with our recent National Security proposal.

Bay area news sees the resolution of the Battle of the Bond's Homerun Ball. Like Solomon, the judge is somewhat wise. Wose enough to make those two bickering babies auction the bastard ball. The San Francisco Chronicle also does a lengthy examination of human trials for clinical research. Interesting conflict of ideals. Why must science be so rife with philisophical differences?

Besides all this, Bruce Lee needs a DJ.

Rick Mays is an astonishingly clean artist. Clean in the sense that his lines are always solid and his characters are very fleshed out and three-dimensional. The thing I appreciate about his work, is the way in which he portrays younger people: they don't look like miniature versions of adults, and they always seem packed with energy. With a similar style to that of many modern comic book artists who've been raised on Saturday Morning action cartoons and anime, Mr. Mays happens to maintain a decidedly western flair for realistic proportions and detail. His body of work is quite diverse, having started in somewhat "friskier" pastures, Mr. Mays worked for a time on Kabuki and even with the boys over at Image Comics pencilling one of their longest-running titles, Gen-13. Having gained a somewhat higher profile, Mr. Mays may pop up someplace significant quite soon. Keep your eyes peeled.

As should be some sort of tradition, Monday news is interesting, but I try to keep it nice and short. Last thing you want to do on Monday is work right? So why work your brain harder than you have to?

Someone out there really likes the University of Southern California. How do I know this? Well Carson Palmer won the Heisman.

Al Gore has decided not to run for President. All that's left to figure out is who will run in his place?

Two articles from Time Magazine today. First of which is about Indian cigarettes. The second of which is about the new movie musical Chicago.

Lastly we have two articles from MTV. First off, Moby got his ass kicked. Second of all, Britney and Justin hate each other.

Like a sausage factory in Germany, I have links:

Snowglobe Game
Setpixel
Rasterized
Google Zeitgeist
Groovetech
Pixeltees
Visualogue
Mechanism 10
Less Rain

Excuse You Haiku

Relieve your body
With bursts of gas explosions
Expelled from your mouth.

Skewer Crew Haiku

Needling little rods
With pointed, menacing tips
For your shish kabobs.

How Old Are You Haiku

Annual practice
Celebrating someone's birth.
Better make a wish!

Late Night Stew Haiku

Drift off on blue clouds
Floating on a golden sea.
Dream your fears away.

Twinkie Goo Haiku

Yellow, spongey cake
Surrounds rich, creamy filling.
Hostess' gold bars.

Have some relish with your Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
If all you've ever wanted is to marry a blond, blue-eyed cheerleader or athlete with six-pack abs and get a McMansion in the suburbs with a tank-sized SUV in your three-car garage, this will be a disappointing week for you. Nothing that happens will aid you in carrying out goals like that. If, however, you aspire to wrestle tenderly with the unripe side of your nature until it agrees to share its enigmatic treasure with the rest of you, then the immediate future will bring cathartic revelations leading to spiritual orgasms and ingenious changes in the way you live your life.

I will spend the rest of the week trying to figure out what exactly the "unripe" side of my nature is. Any suggestions?

Being that I am an alum of this university, I found this article to be pretty fascinating. I'm still on the fence about stem cell research. So many positives for such a large negative. It really depends on your viewpoint of course. Love it or hate it, the research is revolutionary. I wonder who donated all that money?

This past weekend, Los Angeles had the fortune of a monster concert festival thrown by the World Famous KROQ. Said event was their annual "Almost Acoustic Christmas" and the lineup was quite stellar, in my opinion moreso on the second day than the first. Come to think of it, the Los Angeles Times thought so as well. Having just seen Beck perform earlier this weekend, I can attest that his set was probably quite amazing. Why would KROQ have to go and ruin it with Creed?

Earlier this week I posted a short blurb about the Rawhide Kid and his supposed homosexuality. Looks like it's been confirmed. Should be interesting to see how this pans out, but for some reason I have a feeling the writer is going to horribly fail at breaking any ground. Gay comic book characters have been done before, and none so blatant to tell the truth. Do a search on google and you may be surprised at what you find.

For those of you who make fun of others who have trouble tying their shoes, you may want to try this on for size. I'd say this guy had way too much time on his hands, but it's almost maniacally fascinating. I think it's the sick, engineering side of me that thinks this way. Either that or it's the lame, geek side of me. Oh wait, those are the same things...

Time Magazine had a couple of interesting articles this morning, the first of which is about the increased production of sports cars. I agree that their popularity is on the rise. Especially with better technology for engine requirements and safety constraints, it's no wonder companies are pouring more money into their production. Second of all, we have Spike Jonze, a revolutionary director of film, video, and commercials. His interview about a recent release reveals him to be quite a character. A character enough to get Christopher Walken to dance for him at length on camera. Yes sir.

Michael Avon Oeming is a nice addition to the continuing flurry of interesting artists. His style seems simple on the surface, but his method of storytelling always carries the right mood to inspire the reader. Whether it's working with Brian Michael Bendis on their crime series, Powers, or working on his own Bastard Samurai, Mr. Oeming manages to convey the specific tone that strengthens an already solid story. Very similar to Bruce Timm in style only, Oeming's work can be considerably dark. The liberal use of shadows gives his line a realism that is distinctive, given his somewhat iconic style. I tend to enjoy the facial expressions he gives his characters. Through only a few lines, he can make a character go through several emotions in just a few panels. Striking, and impressive.

A little over two shopping weeks left, where are you with your lists?

Liquid Audio seemed to me like it was dead as soon as I heard about it years ago. We now have confirmation that it's six feet under.

Casual sex is dangerous. According to a study, extramarital sex is even more dangerous.

Maybe we should all rethink the phrase "The Vines are the new Hives."

Any of you following this year's Bowl Championship Series should be pleasantly surprised with The Results.

Next time you go to the dentist, think of this man's practice and be jealous you're not there.

Mars has water!

Finally, if you ever see a casino run by Native Americans, think about where all the money is really going.

Take these and call me in the morning:

Rigsby Design
Ben Sherman
Flavorpill
Jen Spectacular
OnModular
Design Backwards
The Industrial Ranch
Fidel Clothing
BOLD
Tronic Studio

Jimmy Choo Haiku

Days go by swiftly
As the clock ticks lives away.
Dying in seconds.

Whasamatta You Haiku

Lyrics mean nothing
If there is no emotion
To back up your song.

John Q Haiku

Playing the match game
Flipping cards repeatedly
Building memory.

We now return to your regularly scheduled Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
The choice between seeking mere survival and stalking interesting success will be thrust in your face again and again in 2003, Virgo. I'm sure you're already getting a taste of the intensity. Here's my suggestion for what you can do to get yourself in good shape for it: Become very clear about your deep inner definition of success, as opposed to the superficial, inappropriate, and deceptive definitions that various people have tried to foist on you over the years. Here's your future rallying cry: Be your own genie in 2003.

I will be my own genie, because I always believed that you do have to make your own wishes come true. No sense in waiting for something to happen when you can make something happen.

According to the San Francisco Chronicle, alternative religions are on the rise in the bay area. I lived up there for four years and I do have to say it is much more liberal than where I grew up. Liberal enough for practicing christians to be open to the exploration of new religions? In some cases, yes, but some in the area disagree. I'd have to say it's interesting to learn about new religions, just make sure none of you start practicing satanism.

I think the time has come for men to stop riding bicycles. Maybe at least one should invest in a nice pair of cushiony shorts and an incredibly soft bicycle seat. Now when you can't take someone seriously wearing bike shorts, you have more of a valid reason not to.

Ah, it's the return of The Black Hole. It would be more frightening, but it's so far away. Wouldn't it be neat to travel across dimensions though? Like Buckaroo Banzai or some derivative. Cool.

I know some of you out there don't use headsets while driving. I urge you, "Go buy one now, please!"

Having been to Ikea for the first time several times over the last few months, I have to say that I'm in awe of the abundance of furniture those scandinavians import to our shores. Must be careful of the "Ikea Nesting Instinct." Perhaps now there is even more reason to fear going to Ikea.

So new trends are presenting themselves in clothing and in the wireless community. Clothing concerns itself now with the light infusion of teflon into the fabrics we use to prevent stains. Good thing for me, I'm a messy eater. Along with that, cell phone towers are becoming more prevalent as cell phone usage goes ever upward. I said more prevalent, not more obvious.

Whitney Houston is on drugs. What else is new?

Hey, crack a smile and keep yourself busy for a while.

Today I highlight a personal favorite of mine: Jeff Smith. Come to think of it, I may have highlighted him before, but what the heck. Mr. Smith is the creator of one of the most fascinating pieces of comic literature out there, Bone. No snickering, please. Anyhow, Mr. Smith's work is quite enchanting. The story of three outcasts from a distant land travelling and surviving in a strange world full of mystical conspiracies is quite engaging. Not only for its distinct characterization, but also for its whimsical sense of humor. Mr. Smith endows his work with a full and lush sense of life that leaps off each page as you turn it. If it wasn't for Jeff Smith, I don't think I'd ever believe the medium could contain such variety, or would I ever take the chance on something different. Look into his stuff, you won't regret it.

Lo and behold! I have returned from the Long Weekend a little drained from some waffley mishaps yesterday, but nevertheless energized from a good 4 days off. Lovely as it were, I hope you all didn't miss me too much. Let's get on with some new, shall we?

A while back I wrote a small segment about Carl Barks, highlighting his contribution to the creation of several Disney Characters and his place in the world of comics. I'm not the only one who appreciates him however, take a look at this column for a more in depth view of what makes Mr. Barks so special.

Here are a couple interesting articles previewing a couple of relatively new titles about old properties in the world of comics. The first of which highlights a decidedly different take on The Rawhide Kid. Could be an interesting twist. I like the quote about the series not being anything but a "straight" western. Coupled with this, there is the return of Robotech to comicdom. This isn't really that much of a surprise given that He-man, Thundercats, and even G.I. Joe have been recalled back into the comic book fold. Nostalgia sells.

We all know that Micheal Jackson is weird. After this year, there is no doubt that he is undeniably crazy.

Finally, there's word that our money isn't going to be quite as monochromatic as usual. Too bad, we're not going to be able to call them "greenbacks" anymore. Hey, if anyone can name that show where one of the characters was named Baron Greenback, you'll get a surprise. Any takers?

Wednesday before Thanksgiving and I almost forget to post the Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Tropical rainforests produce one-fifth of the earth's oxygen, contain half of all plant and animal species, and provide ingredients for one-fourth of our pharmaceuticals. So what's behind the shortsighted destruction of this treasure? Here's one cause: Indigenous tribes often believe they can make a better living by chopping down the forests and using the land for farming. Why should they care about the global perspective, they argue, when they're struggling to survive? Recently, though, evidence has emerged that proves the locals can actually make more money from wild-harvesting sustainable resources like medicinal plants, fruits, nuts, and oils than they can from growing subsistence crops. Now let's take this vignette and apply it as a metaphor to your current life situation, Virgo: By clinging to a source of meager value, you're depriving yourself (and the world) of a richer alternative.

Cryptic, I like it.

The parade of interesting guest stars continues on "Alias." The latest star being Ethan Hawke. Should be interesting, but I don't see him as the cunning, cutthroat spy type. Maybe he'll surprise us all.

Thanksgiving is upon us, and we'll see some new things coming for the new year. Looks like we'll aslo be getting some new life soon as well. How soon remains to be seen. It will be groundbreaking when it happens though.

If I don't pig out tomorrow, I'll be surprised. Good thing I know there's a reason that we do. And also a reason that we don't.

Alan Moore is a genius. His writing is solid, and always intriguing. One of his currently published comic books, "Promethea" is just one exampe of his extraordinary ability to create fully astounding stories. Read about it.

Lastly, since this happens to be the most interesting time of year, movie-wise. Here's a HUGE article concerning the new Lord of the Rings movie. Read it and sweat with anticipation.

Someone who I'm shocked I haven't mentioned is Bill Watterson. Mr. Watterson is the man responsible for the indispensible "Calvin and Hobbes." Irreverent, imaginative, and containing a skewed innocence, this strip is a modern classic, and even moreso since the strip ceased to be published. Its legacy is still apparent not only through the obiligatory collection of strips, but also through the thousands of stickers you may see plastered on the rear windows of cars everywhere. A sad testament as Mr. Watterson would never let his property be licensed and commercialized as he thought it would cheapen his work. I agree, seeing that these stickers are an odious portrayal of what Mr. Watterson attempted to achieve. Calvin and Hobbes was about the overactive imagination of a young boy and his daily escapades with his stuffed tiger. This description only scratches the surface of the biting modern philosophies expunged by the two main characters. Very appropriate since they were named after philosophers themselves. Many memorable characters were birthed within the panels of the strip and its a shame it does not continue any longer. May we hopefully see more work from Mr. Watterson soon.

I'm going to keep it short and sweet again. Maybe this should be a Monday tradition, unless everyone else has tons of energy left over from the weekend. Ooh la la.

Apparently Britney Spears isn't over Justin Timberlake.

A man in India has invented the bamboo bicycle.

Peal Jam is surprisingly still relevant.

Crime is on the rise in Europe.

Our president doesn't like clean air.

Goodness, the weekend already! Must be time for some links!

Bruce Timm Gallery
Fotoetage
Mark Solan
Blue Over Blue
Bloggo
Basik
Solid Eye
One Twenty Eight
Tim Jorgensen
Maharishi
Atmosphere
Terminator 3

Gah! I'm so aghast. I did not post as usual yesterday, therefore my weblog is devoid of any sort of haiku-age for the week. I'd write one right here, but it doesn't seem appropriate. It would be nice if I saw some other haikus from nice people that regularly view the site. Please, pretty please...

You hate me, but you love your Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
After writing more than 30 stories about Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle got tired of him. In 1893, the English author killed off his well-loved character, sending him plunging off Reichenbach Falls while in a struggle with his archenemy, Professor Moriarty. Readers were unhappy with the decision, though, and nine years later Conan Doyle felt compelled to revive Holmes for another long run. I nominate him to be your role model for the next few weeks, Virgo. You, too, will find good reasons to resurrect an influence from the past or bring an old character back into your life.

Who's coming back into my life? Then again, who's coming back into your life?

For a while there, they were playing "Cell Games" on Dragonball Z. Now people are playing a new type of cell game. The interesting thing is that Nokia is trying to throw its hat into a ring dominated by Nintendo and its Gameboy Advance. I don't think it will work, but at least they're trying.

This weekend we'll get to see "Die Another Day." To commemorate this event. Entertainment Weekly has taken it upon itself to rank the last 20 Bond movies. I agree with their top choice. But then again, who wouldn't?

Want to learn how to travel abroad for free? MSNBC shows you how. What better way to go on a trip than to swindle all of your friends to go with you? Actually, it doesn't sound so bad. I've always wanted to go to Europe, anyone wanna come?

Another musician has done the unthinkable and gotten himself in trouble with the law. This time it's none other than D'Angelo. It doesn't make any sense to me how these people with so much money think they can get away with things like this. What gets me is that the police had to use pepper spray to take him down. Ouch.

Micheal Jordan's in big trouble. Remember how a few months back, his wife wanted to divorce him? Looks like we may have found the reason why.

So we're all aware we live in a world where terrorism can occur anywhere in the world. Some people tend to be more afraid than others that things can happen at anytime, which is a realistic notion. I always think that it's a good policy to trust in your law enforcement and security forces to keep you safe. See?

Environmental news for the past year has been somewhat gratifying. With the ozone hole getting smaller at least. It's awful to hear about Bush's refusal to sign the Kyoto Treaty, but I guess he has his reasons. It is awful however, when something like this happens. Ack!

Another comic strip artist for you all. Wiley Miller is best known for his work on the strip "Non Sequitur." It can be found most often in your daily newspaper's strip section. A master of satire, Wiley's linework is simplistic, yet full of life. He instills a cynical wit in all of his caricatures of people and professions. If you ever find yourself chuckling out loud to a strip, don't be surprised.

I'm going to disturb the rest of my co-workers with my snoring. Look at some of this news whilst I nap.

The latest Harry Potter movie drummed up some major business over the weekend. It's more than a phenomenon. It's an outright smash.

Two child pornography busts occurred over the weekend. First with Pee-Wee Herman and then again with Principal Ed Rooney. Sick people.

Looks like Hugh Hefner's finally cashing it in.

Wow, the war on terror is inspiring the textile industry to make safety fashionable.

It's that time of the year again. Time to start out Christmas shopping.

Make with the clickin' and lookin'.

Poulos Design
Super Mario Sunshine
Electronic Miracles
Xururu
Vector Park
Quick and Dirty
Boqemian
Kko
Sesame Studio

Bugaboo Haiku

Apples and oranges.
Peaches, pears, and bananas.
Five a day, for health.

Deja vu Haiku

Heroes in half-shells.
Trained under master Splinter
As lethal ninjas.

Nasty goo Haiku

Dialing 9-7-6
Hearing a soft, breathy voice
Telling you to pay.

Eat it all y'all, eat your Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
"Dear Dr. Brezsny: What's a good way to get rid of gophers? They're constantly ripping holes in my backyard, which keeps me chronically pissed off, and that makes it pretty hard to concentrate on carrying out the uplifting suggestions you give in your horoscopes. —Seething Virgo in Iowa." Dear Seething: Go out in your backyard and act like a gopher. Dig in the dirt like you were born to do it. Rip up a hundred holes. Get totally filthy. I guarantee the gophers will leave. And if there are any other kinds of pests you want to banish from your life, try a similar approach. Learn their ways. Empathize with them. See the world as they do. Their power over you will magically fade.

May we all be gophers this week and get rid of our own personal pests. Who shall I drop first, hmmmm...

Has war been averted? Only time will tell. I have a sneaking suspicion that this is just a ploy by the Iraqi government to buy more time, at the same time I'm glad someone around the world has a clear head. Isn't it somewhat sad when the person with the clearest head happens to be Saddam Hussein? That's why I think something's up.

Now we all have reason to be afraid of Flipper. Not just the friendly dolphin, he also happens to be the flesh-eating dolphin.

Scientists have been fascinated by the "Big Bang Theory." So fascinated are they that they attempted to create a "Little Bang." The process itself is quite amazing, but what's more amazing is what they found. Fascinating stuff.

Not only will we get the new new Bond flick this month, but it also happens to be the 40th Anniversary of the franchise. 5 actors and 20 films. That's not a bad track record at all.

Remember when people could actually spell? Well, it's definitely hip to be a bad speller in the music industry. If this trend continues, I may have to change my name to "Marrk."

Anyone ever read Vice Magazine? I never have, but after reading this it sounds interesting enough to despise.

Jose Ladronn is a Renaissance man. That's not the total truth however. He's more of a throwback to an older era of comic book artists. His style is incredibly reminiscent of Jack Kirby in his staunch figure drawing. Combined with his exquisite painting skills and dense inclusion of detail, his illustrations can stand alone as works of art themselves. Many may be turned off by the somewhat old-style look of his craft, but I tend to find it fascinating in its draftsmanship and imagination. If only he produced more often, I think I'd buy more of his stuff.

Excuse me while I take a short nap. Read some news.

Someone's getting married.

Kids like oral sex.

The year's best inventions.

No links today. Rain makes things suck enough that I'm too busy to do any of that. Have a good weekend!

No haikus and no quotes today. Instead, my work computer chooses this time to go crazy and freeze up everytime I try doing even the smallest thing in SoldWorks. I'm convinced that it hates me secretly and lashes out passive-aggressively in this manner. Alas, I am but a poor minion, slave to technology. Aren't we all though? Aren't we all?

It's that time of the week again, time for a Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
This week's counsel is extreme. Don't read another word, Virgo, unless you feel ready to carry out a task that will require you to be daringly rebellious and brazenly optimistic. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you're being asked to revise your attitudes, change your habits, alter your behavior, or do whatever else it may take to arrive at a radical new way of looking at your life: You must be able to sincerely believe that the cosmos or fate or God—whatever you want to call the Vastness—is on your side and wants you to succeed at the thing you enjoy most. Here's a big hint about one way to proceed, courtesy of author Paulo Coelho: "Know what you want and all the universe conspires to help you achieve it."

You know, it's things like these that make me wonder if I should follow a dream, no matter how ridiculous it sounds. Don't be surprised if I'm out of the country next year if this is the case.

We were all waiting to hear the verdict, and it didn't come out any less confusing. Winona Ryder's innocent/guilty?

Would you look at that? Apparently, a cancer vaccine has been discovered. Cool.

Remember that episode of South Park where Stan's dog is found to be gay? Apparently there may be a reason for it, and that reason also applies to humans.

For all of you who didn't vote yesterday, here are the results. Whether you're happy about it, or want to flee the country, these next 2 years should be interesting, to say the least.

Bill Gates has too much money. Actually, he has so much money because he's willing to take some huge risks. This just happens to be another one of those risks. Looks interesting, but how successful will it really be>

I saw 24 for the first time yesterday. I must say I was incredibly impressed with it. Not only that, but I was really impressed by Kiefer Sutherland. That guy is one bad-ass mofo.

The parade of fascinating artists continues yet again on this very Tuesday. Today we highlight Mr. Katsuhiro Otomo, a legendary manga artist and sometimes director of anime. Most recognizable is his seminal work, Akira. This title has the distinction of being the earliest and highest-profile manga and anime released on Western shores, and with good reason. Originally published in Japan, this manga weaves an intricate story of technological mayhem and adventure. The characters are incredibly well-formed, and the art is chock-full of an incredible amount of detail. The movie itself is quite interesting in the fact that attempting to compress 6 volumes of manga, numbering over 200 pages each is a heavy task to accomplish. In my opinion, it stands alone as a great piece of artwork, but as a story, the anime falls somewhat short of conveying the complete message of the manga. The story has everything, romance, psychic terror, drugs, and terrible repercussions of violence. Each brutal moment is not minced over so the reader can fully understand how threatening nature can be when toyed with. Read it, watch it, or look it up on the web. It's epic.

I'm bushed, tired, exhausted, sleepy, weary, fatigued, drained, worn out, and just plain beat. I guess I should try to hit the sack early tonight. Nah...

As if Spider-Man didn't make enough money already, it set the new DVD sales record this weekend with a large wad of cash intake. I'm impressed and I will also soon contribute towards its benefit.

Those crazy Brits come up with all sorts of new and fascinating studies when we're not looking. I find this one particularly interesting. I wonder if this will happen in California anytime soon.

If any of you tried to take the 710 freeway this weekend, I pity you.

Looks like the genius' at Nokia are going to try their hand at a very small market. The handheld game console market.

Read this article. Although I can't totally relate, I still find it terribly fascinating.

Let's wind the week down with some links, shall we?

Vote today!
Ninedots
Reality Hacking
Stephen Stickerl
Third Thing
Salted Herring
Andy Potts
Matthew Curry
Rubick's Cube
Eduardo de Felipe
Cecilia Jardemar

Hootie Hoo Haiku.

The undead wake up,
Craving flesh, bone and fresh brains.
To sate their frenzy.

Boogity Boo Haiku.

Go to sleep early
And escape your evil dreams
Of ghouls, ghosts, and death.

Middle of the week, and I'm already exhausted. But I do like what I find in my Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
I figure you've served enough time as a scapegoat to last you forever. You've shouldered the blame and accepted the responsibility far more than your fair share. Therefore, dear Virgo, in accordance with the laws of karma and by decree of the cosmic enforcers of balance, you are hereby authorized to be a prince or princess this Halloween. You're further entitled to corral a volunteer to dress up as your Prügelknabe. In old Germany, this was a companion who served as a stand-in scapegoat, getting spanked every time the prince or princess misbehaved.

Isn't that lovely? Which one of you wants to be my scapegoat? Anyone? Anyone?

David E. Kelley may think that he has the Midas Touch, but Mr. Michelle Pfeiffer's luck may have run out.

Jerry Seinfeld is no doubt one of the richest, most-recognized men on the face of the earth. The money he gets in syndication alone has to be monumental. Well then, why is he appearing on Late Night with David Letterman this week? Some people think they may have the answer.

More comedy for you. Saturday Night Live has been around for ages. Well, longer than I've been a live at least. Anyhow, a new book seeks to expose the show's sordid past. Get some dirt on it here.

Finally, what more can make you question your faith?

I'm going to go out on a limb today and mention someone who's work I'm not completely familiar with, but who I was very impressed with when I first saw what he does. Brad Bird is yet another animator from the Disney fold. I don't know a whole lot of things he's worked on, but the most noticeable work he's done was the movie The Iron Giant. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you see it and maybe you'll understand what I'm talking about. His direction is quite refreshing. The sharp sense of humor, fluid representation of human characters, and an eye for the fantastic make his work pretty unique. I'm actually looking forwad to his next venture into cinema which is going to be a Pixar movie by the name of The Impossibles. Should be pretty cool.

Lovely, lovely weekend. The World Series was very exciting for all of us Southern California people. Read about it here and also here. I'm still coming to gribs with the fact that the Angels won. It's almost like I'm in some Bizarro world.

What are you going to be for Halloween? Well, I hope none of you are going to be buying any of these masks this year. Makes me sick.

Once again, the British have come up with another study that is rather interesting. Gives more meaning to the term A Rush of Blood to the Head. Coupled with this, the British have also discovered that some things are more important to married couples than sex.

New Technology is great. First of all, we're getting all sorts of cool new cell phones on the market. Not only that, but in the near future we may get televisions that behave like wall scrolls. Check it out.

And last, but not least, I know all of you are anticipating the release of the next Harry Potter movie. To give you more of a taste, click here for a little preview from the good folks at Time Magazine.

Too many links today. Should keep everyone busy enough to ignore their work.

Brian Sum
Triplecode Pallette System
Jamie Ferguson
Gattaca
Outdoor Sculptures
Subtraction
Eyes Wide Shut
Acrylick
Keep Left
Saturate
Seventh Model
Knewseen
Sopp Collective
Primi Piatti
Duo
T.D. Collins
l.e.o.g.e.o.
Art Coup
Myopic Society

True Blue Haiku.

You don't know me.
You say I'm not living right.
Why do you judge me?

Sweatin' You Haiku.

Why don't you go home?
And sleep in your silk PJ's.
Leave me in peace, please.

Lovely, lovely Wednesday to you all. It's real cloudy, gloomy, and downright depressing. I wish the tension would go away and the clouds would just open up and weep for once. I'm tired of waiting for Mother Nature to announce the arrival of Fall. Besides all that, here's the Free Will Horoscope of the day:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
It'll be a zigzag, flip-flop, which-end-is-up week, Virgo. Every plot twist will quickly split into at least two more; anything that looks like a trick ending will lead to what looks like another trick ending. Your natural talents for thinking on your feet and adapting on the fly will be even better than usual, though, so you're poised to thrive in slippery conditions that may befuddle weaker minds. My advice? Act as if there were no script for the unfolding drama; treat every situation like an improv exercise in an acting class.

Drama? I'm not really excited for impending drama. I haven't had any for a while, and I don't believe I need any at the moment. Well.. maybe a little bit...

News sources earlier this week said J.K. Rowlings would be publishing not 7, but 8 new Harry Potter novels. No sooner was that story published, but it was also quickly refuted.

America could not get enough American Idol so there is going to be another season. Not only that, but they're also adding a new judge to the mix.

Since it's Halloween, Entertainment Weekly decided to include a countdown of their picks for the 13 Scariest Movies. I agree with most of them, except for some of the '80's slasher films. Regrettably, they didn't include The Ring. That movie freaks me out right now just thinking about it...

Boeing makes big news again by announcing the completion of their Bird of Prey. Not to be confused with the new show on The WB, Birds of Prey.

Kurt Cobain lives!

A while back we were experiencing some server difficulty. I think now I may see the reason why.

Oh, and if any of you wondered exactly how depraved Christina Aguilera really is, here's some evidence.

So I finally found an image that will only remotely describe Akira Toriyama. Perhaps best known for being the creator of Dragonball Z, Mr. Toriyama had humble beginnings as a manga artist. His first published work, Dr. Slump, was rife with the quirky sense of humor Mr. Toriyama is known for. His second work, Dragonball, laid the groundwork for what would be one of the longest-running anime series. The inclusion of martial arts with his humor made for a resounding success, but most stunning were the epic action sequences that Mr. Toriyama drew. Incredibly sharp and always over-the-top, the action of Dragonball Z featured superhuman feats, intergalactic violence, and a cast of characters so large it spanned generations. So sharp are his character design skills that he has been recruited in the past to design for video games as well, the most famous probably being Chrono Trigger. Currently, I believe he's publishing a continuation of Dr. Slump, but I'm not all that sure. If you know, feel free to inform me.

I just realized that I didn't post my Free Will Horoscope last week. So here's a make up post:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
I've been working on a do-it-yourself manual for the new "Just Drop It" school of psychotherapy. It'll be pretty short. In the introduction, I'll tell you to procure a cheap briefcase and fill it up with a hundred pounds of rocks. On page two I'll suggest that you imagine the briefcase is stuffed with emotional baggage you can't seem to let go, memories you love to hate, and annoying frustrations you never get tired of complaining about. The third page will insinuate that maybe you should actually carry this terrible burden around with you everywhere you go for an entire week. On the fourth and last page, I'll offer the simple, elegant cure: JUST DROP IT!

I'll dispense with the banter for today and just give you all the straight story. Weekend good. Monday bad.

East meets West.

Bastards!

I want one!

Youth sports gets out of hand.

One large bird.

Fun for you all, links links links.

Repeat To Fade
Tim Prentice
Neomu
Neostream
Formula H
Sea
Engine System
Creatures In My Head
Breakup Simulator
La Graphica

Illness has prevented me from yesterday's update, so it's going to be posted today. No haikus today you lucky people, but you will still get your links. And the conclusion to my story.

Tattle-Tale
Part 3

A tin clicking noise began to emanate from within the walls surrounding us. Trying to remain calm, I strained to distinguish their particular location. Sadly, it’s hard to distinguish ubiquitous noise.

The Bloodhound turned to face me, a pointed look on his face. “Your tenure is up.”

“Wait, I’m sure there is some room to negotiate, right?”

“You gave up your rights when you violated your mandate, Transfer-Mediate.”

Clickings turned to metallic whirrings, as if thousands of gears creaked and groaned in laborious motion. Closer.

“But, I don’t even know what I could have done wrong.”

“Perhaps that is part of your mistake.” In my panic, I forgot that reasoning with Bloodhounds was pointless.

Wires began to descend from the ceiling, making their way ever closer to my seat.

“Remain still.” My nervousness couldn’t contain itself any longer as I started to squirm.

“Was it my association with neighbors?”

“Your attempts at discovery will not assist your survival.”

I felt strands of metal, like new locks of hair, covering me; pointed extensions, attempting to burrow their way under my skin.

“My loyalties have never strayed from Corporate Mandate.” I spat, attempting to garner favor.

“Your regrettable decision to purchase that deplorable book has already sealed your fate. I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do. Pathetic.”

Click-clack.

What was next was inevitable, thought-machines descended down their wiry paths. Making bee-lines towards me. Their purpose known only to the Bloodhound.

“I bought many books last week.” Confusingly slurring my words. “It could have been anything!”

“I’m sure you know what tome I’m speaking of.”

“Every book I’ve ever purchased has been on the Corporate Sponsorship list. It’s what gave me entrance!”

Tendrils of ceramic touched down upon my skin, surrounding my face and shoulders. Sinister blue eyes glaring upon me with mindless purpose. The placid smiles upon their faces were just the beginning of the terror they instilled.

“Sit still.”

I couldn’t muster words.

“It’s beginning.”

A tearing sound. Needles along my extremities. Spiking burns searing flesh. My tongue swells. A blinding whiteness followed by blackness.

I wake up on a table, next to myself, in a jar filled with a pale pink liquid, wondering how I got there, and how I will get out. I hear nothing but laughing in the background as my body rises up from the table and steers itself towards the door. I watch as I exit on to the roof of the building and throw myself 20 stories to the black cement. My last thoughts are remembering the book I bought out of turn.

Don't we all wish it could be Friday already? I do, particularly because I'm tired of coming to work sick. Maybe I should call in one of these days and not go?

Yay, they're making new Wallace and Gromit short films!

Yay, they're making new short films for The Hire!

Yay, they're making a new Shinobi!

Enough with the cheering, we should all be sad because some movies are being shelved. Granted, a lot of these movies are supposedly awful, it's still sad to think that something you worked so hard on could get so little support.

Oh, and it looks like Steve may be out of a job.

It's so sad.

I can't seem to find any images worth posting, but I know what artists I want to feature. So today I'll just talk about him instead and you all can click on links and see what kind of things he's done in the past.

Don Bluth is a name you may not know, but who's work you've definitely seen. Previously working as an animator for Walt Disney Studios, Mr. Bluth took an independent path and decided to form his own animation company. The first notable movie you may have seen was An American Tail. Slightly more mature in subject matter, but still aimed towards a young audience, this movie typified his work. Visually, his attention to detail in dynamic movement and facial expressions are possibly what defines his style, and can be noted in his other movies as well. What you may not see, is his contribution in the field of videogames. His company was the first to actually pioneer into the field of laser disc media for video game application. Dragon's Lair and Space Ace were those explorations, and although not successful, their place in video game history is notable. Check him out, you may find some familiar titles among his work.

I need a tissue. It's Monday, I'm congested, but the weekend was fun. I'll keep the banter and comments to a minimum to conserve my strength. I'm not actually that sick, but for the sake of being dramatic, I'll act all sorry for myself. On with some news.

People in England may not have the best dental care, but they at least get paid to work out.

The Washington Sniper has really caused quite a disturbance on the East Coast. Luckily, the police believe they may have a few clues that will lead to his capture.

We all know some people's issues start in the home. But now, there may be evidence that it goes deeper than that.

In case you've been living in a cave, under a rock, THE ANGELS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!

If the United States goes to war against Iraq, there will be repercussions in a lot of ways. Bush is being semi-smart, and trying to curb those repercussions early.

This story is too sensational to describe. Just read it.

So the RIAA believes they can crack down on us pirates through our educational system. How sad is that?

Eat these links for breakfast:

DNA Studio
3D Display
Sacha Dean Biyan
Those That Know
Fluid
Autophene
Heliozilla
Stylorouge
Tamz
Pencil Brains
Tiger Magazine
Sparta

Scooby-Doo Haiku.

Mr. boombastic
Running scared through haunted halls.
All he says is, "Zoinks!"

Bronx Zoo Haiku.

Tigers in the wild
Have no regard for humans.
They'd eat us alive.

Ah, to make up for lack of news and lack of post yesterday, I have more than enough to keep people occupied and amused. Or at least I hope I have more than enough to keep you occupied and amused. We'll see. How about a Free Will Horoscope to start out:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
The other night I met a Navajo medicine woman who showed me the "squat of power" practiced by the Pleiadean star people. She said it would free me of any urge to watch TV, and it did. She also gave me a karma-free spell to unbind me from my enemies (it worked!), and slipped me some hot financial tips she'd gleaned on the astral plane from a departed spirit who used to work at Goldman Sachs. Sorry I can't reveal any of these useful hints to you, Virgo; the medicine woman swore me to secrecy. Don't feel deprived, though: You'll soon tap into equally exotic sources that will provide you with equally practical advice.

All of you better get more exotic soon so I can ask you for advice. Maybe something financial perhaps? Win the lottery, please!

Astronomers the world over are all very excited right now. A new planet has been discovered. Curiously, it's name doesn't make any sense.

This man is very, very smart.

If any of you have been following the news about the sniper who's currently killing random people in Maryland, you've seen that new evidence has been found. For others out there who have no idea what's going on? This might be of help.

Also from Time, there's a new rash of improv on television. Must be new and exciting. Now if only I had cable.

Lastly, we have this little Flash tribute to Romeo and Juliet. All I have to say is, "Oh yea!"

Something tells me I'm not in the mood to post anything meaningful today. I had some artists in mind, but I just can't seem to find an appropriate image to borrow for the day. Maybe I'll find one, but there will be no image post today. See ya all tomorrow.

Usually on Mondays I have plenty of news to supply to y'all. Unfortunately for some reason, there is a light load. Well, you all already know the Angels have advanced to the American League Championship Series! Ooohh....

Japanese technology is so much cooler than ours. It's a shame it takes so long for most of their products to come over here. Well, Sony's new VAIO desktop is making its way overseas. Looks pretty slick. I just like how compact it is.

The world's first floating city is in the planning stages. Looks interesting, but I'm sure it will never see the light of day.

Today's cell phones are chock-full of extras. Makes you wonder what they'll think of next. CNN seems to think they know the reason for the trend. I don' t know about everyone else, but I'm happy with my simple cell phone. I don't know if I really want to be able to play interactive pong for 99 cents a minute.

I also thought it would be alright to send links for more music. Today I'm including links to "I feel sorry for myself" music. Click and listen.

Pete Yorn
No Motiv
Dashboard Confessional
Weezer
Linkin Park
New Found Glory
The Get Up Kids
Alkaline Trio

Yay! It's finally Friday over here and I'm still tired! Let's just click on thse links for right now.

Soul Method
Josh Boston
Nineaem Photography
Half Project Duel
Christopher Sleboda
Aclaim
Funkuncle
Kosta Seremetis
Street Wise One

Can you believe it? It's the return of the story! It's still not up to my standards, and it's running away with itself. Let's hope it doesn't get too long, or you all will be yelling at me for a conclusion.

Tattle-Tale
Part 2


Pallid beige hallways belied the tension heavily apparent in the hallways of the Conservatory. I was following the cannonball with legs that was my guide. The Admittance Men rarely spoke aloud to Transfer-Mediates such as me, and this particular fellow was no different than the rest of them. I didn’t mind, even though I was wary of his presence. Admittance men held more influence than the general public really knew. In fact they acted as our own police force and seemed to hold more power than Corporate Law itself. But like most people say, “No one is above the law.”

After a brief stint inside an elevator, a few short, sterile hallways, and a non-descript, locked door, we reached my destiny: a freshly carpeted and freshly-painted room with no mirrors or windows. Brushed aluminum legs supported a narrow, armless leather chair placed in the middle of the space. The indigo seat was obviously meant for me, but as is policy, I wasn’t to take my seat until beckoned to do so. My Admittance Man left without a sound, closed the door, and I was left to peruse my surroundings more carefully.

Rooms such as these were numerous since civilian meetings with Bloodhounds were quite frequent. Employee meetings, however, were rare. I found myself in the unique situation of actually sweating. Climate control was rampant throughout; even the most scant droplets were a rare sight.

Waiting.

Waiting.

“Knock Knock!”

A lean man with a slender face and dark complexion calmly opened the door, and motioned for me to take my seat.

“’Morning. I trust I haven’t kept you standing.”

“No, sir. I actually like to stand, I feel lazy being seated.” If there was anything Bloodhounds detested, it was a sloth.

“Hmph. Well I see that you’ve been shorn recently. I take it you anticipated our conversation?”

“As well as I could.”

“Fine. Comfortable?”

“Slightly. I don’t believe my job is to be comfortable.”

“Fine.”

He was trying to confuse me with small talk before revealing his point. Most Bloodhounds were known for their conversational techniques. Not that many ever recounted the full events of a conversation with a Bloodhound. It was a testament to their skill that no one could actually remember what they had talked about.

“Where’d you purchase that suit? I believe I own one quite like it.” Not unusual, we were all uniformly attired; whether we did it consciously was another matter entirely.

“Off of Williams and 15th, where we all get our suits.” My tongue-in-cheek reply was not amusing as he moved around the chair to stand behind my back.

“Williams, I believe you actually live very close to that corner, as your records state.” He was again, beating around the bush. “Do you know a lot of your neighbors?”

“Policy dictates I remain solitary for long periods of time.” True. “People come to my door, but only to deliver my mail.” False. Lying wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but white lies were harmless.

“Truthfully, please don’t toy with me.”

An annoyed sigh escaped my lips, “My neighbors do come over occasionally. They ask whether or not I can housesit, watch their cat, whatever. I do happen to try and be a decent person in my spare time.”

“Honorable.”

“May we go on? I do have a job to return to.”

"This is your job. Any conversation is good for business.” He was right of course. “So please, reiterate your position within the Corporation, please.”

“I’m a mid-level Transfer-Mediate, specializing in the Urban Sector.”

“And what are your duties?”

“As a Transfer-Mediate, I facilitate the implementation of new Corporate Technologies within public domain.”

“Where in your job description does it state that you are allowed to exceed the boundaries of your position.”

“Nowhere. My position is permanent unless altered by yourself or those with Corporate Leeway.”

“Whether you know it or not, you’ve violated your mandate, Transfer-Mediate.”

Ants crawled down my throat, my heart was replaced with a hummingbird, and the skin on my palms became soaked sponges. He’d been using small talk to set me at ease, but this statement was orchestrated to demolish my relaxation. My mind stretched itself attempting to remember an instance where I may have neglected my mandate. The sallow look in the Bloodhound’s eyes told me the answer was not only forthcoming, but also unpleasant.

We missed you, Haiku!

Where'd I leave my keys?
Perhaps they're on my new desk?
Ack! I locked them in!

Pikachu Haiku.

"I'm tired of lying."
"Let's all hear the truth then, son."
"I ate the last scone!"

I'm so tired. It's gloomy outside. And yet I still find time to post to the blog. Do I have my priorities mixed? Perhapsss. Well, let's see what the Free Will Horoscope says today:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Is it true that you're fantasizing about being possessed by blind, reeling obsession? That's what my spies tell me, Virgo. They say you're so weary of the meticulous approach you usually cultivate that you secretly wish you could be taken and shaken, flipped and flopped, zoomed and boomed by a flood of uncontrollable feelings. While I appreciate your yearning for an outbreak of head-spinning passion, I believe you can arrange for it to occur in less drastic fashion. I beg you, therefore, to dream about indulging in a refined spree, a discerning bacchanal, a measured mania.

Strange. I don't see myself as a particularly passionless, meticulous person. Guess that shows you not everyone can be right all the time.

If any of you enjoyed last year's movie, X-Men, then you no doubt know about the sequel being filmed for release next summer. Here's an advance look at the sequel's latest mutant addition: Nightcrawler.

Remember that trailer I posted a couple of days ago? Well, there's a much higher quality, and more easily downloadable version here.

A new study in the UK shows that glasses may hinder romance. Kind of sad in a way. I happen to find glasses make a girl appear more attractive. More mysterious perhaps. Maybe I'm just biased because I tend to wear my glasses more nowadays.

More interesting news from the UK. The National Health Service is handing out vibrators to women. Read the article to find out why. Amazing. What next, free vaseline for men?

Lastly, as if we didn't know already, another study shows that education is more expensive than ever. I'm hoping this means more financial aid for more people, but we all know it doesn't. Oh well...

Adam Warren makes me cry. Well he doesn't really make me cry, but his art's pretty darn kick-ass. These images are "borrowed" from Images Central, so I thought I'd mention that real quick before talking about Mr. Warren a bit. Looking at Adam Warren's drawings, you might think he's another Japanese artist that I'm profiling. Actually, Adam Warren is just one of many western artists that have been so strongly influenced by the Eastern Flava, he's completely immersed himself in it artistically. There are many Western qualities about his art still, but with the incredibly dynamic action and the prevalent use of speed lines, it's apparent where his artistic loyalty lies. His writing isn't too bad either. Funnier than most things I've read, and perhaps a little too thick on the cultural references, but still pretty darn good. Let's all pause for a moment and gaze upon some images.

So even after giving them credit, Images Central still ripped me off, so the images have disappeared. Not like I'm taking credit for scanning, but I guess stealing bandwidth is bad enough. It's not like this is even a commercial site. I should have read their FAQ first, alas.

A brand new week. I'm thinking that I might actually get some rest this upcoming weekend, but who knows. Stranger things have happened. Anyhow, being that it is Monday, you can all enjoy your daily dose of news. Starting with this lovely link to a lovely new quicktime trailer.

Along with this new movie, there's also news that Reese Witherspoon is worth the $15 million she got paid for starring in Sweet Home Alabama. Turns out this weekend's box office take was quite monumental.

I love Beck. I love Beck so much in fact, that I'm posting a review about his new album. Beck loves you too, which is why you should go check it out as soon as you can.

Are you bowlingual? The Japanese seem to think so. Now if only I practiced my Japanese a bit more.

Last bit of movie news today, I promise. Ice Cube's latest movie, Barbershop, is getting lots of publicity. Just not the kind of publicity most people want.

A bonus today, a news story with an additional image to go along with it. The Cartoon Network is adding to their growing stable of original programming by announcing the acquisition of another DC Comics property. This time, they're taking a stab at The Teen Titans. Turns out, this version is a little different being that it's set in the future. Should be interesting to see how it pans out. Take a look at this image and get an idea of what to expect.

You know, I thought I'd also include some musical links for you all today just for fun. I won't make it a habit though. This week I'll feature some DJ's. Fun.

Sasha
Timo Maas
DJ Shadow
Paul Van Dyk
ATB

Can you believe that I didn't post Haikus yesterday? Probably a good thing, people may have been getting sick of them. I'll spare you a make-up haiku post today and instead just post my regular links. Enjoy.

Virus Fonts
Audible Auctions
Fatoe
I Must Create
Simon Robinson
Utopia Fonts
Frost Design

I'm a perfectionist bastard.

Actually, I'm more of a lazy bastard since I haven't finished the second part of Tattle Tale. You can all yell at me for not supplying the goods or you can motivate me by stringing me up by my toes. The best I can do right now is subject you all to some more poetry. Sorry.

somewhere
e.e. cummings

somehwere i have never travelled,gladly beyond
any experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously)her first rose

or if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain, has such small hands

Mid-week finds a new and intriguing Free Will Horoscope:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
Do not under any circumstances burp, fart, and sneeze at the same time. For that matter, Virgo, refrain from leaping into the air while blowing up balloons and chewing gum. And never, ever go out to do nitpicky errands as you meditate on the painful events of your childhood and try to dream up a smarter long-range financial strategy. This week, more than ever, you need to cultivate a one-track mind. For now, tunnel vision is the truth and the way.

Fun, one-track mind this week. What to think about what to think about?

NFL news gets more interesting this week as Randy Moss gets thrown in jail. He can't complain about not getting the ball more often now, he'll get plenty of balls in prison.

So many of us have cell phones and along with those phones, we also have text messaging. Apparently, it's becoming more trendy to flirt through text messages. I don't know about the rest of you, but I never use the text messaging option on my cell phone. Is it useless, or is it just me?

Everyone's favorite childhood book is celebrating an anniversary. I remember reading those things all the time when I was younger. Maybe I should write children's books, but it wouldn't sound so catchy. The Navarrete Cavities. Doesn't sound so appealing does it?

Lastly, science ruins yet another mystery of the unkown.

The deluge of artists never ends. This week I'm drawing your attention to Mr. Travis Charest. As you can see from the images posted below from The Official Unofficial Travest Charest Gallery, Mr. Charest's work is very intricate. The amount of detail is stunning. Every image is filled to the brim with objects, no matter how fantastic, that are grounded in reality. If I had twice the patience that Mr. Charest has, I still don't think I'd be able to match his perfection. Check out the rest of the images on his website to be impressed even further.

Ahhh, a whole 363 more days until my next birthday. I wonder what will happen between now and then? Hopefully a lot. On with some Monday news.

Remember the movie Boys Don't Cry? Well, that story ended in brutal tragedy. However, here is another story of similar deception.

Matter, meet antimatter.

So your friendly neighborhood anarchists are planning a fun scavenger hunt for an upcoming trade summit in our nation's capitol. Funny how after all this patriotism, we can still find time to exercise our right to free speech. Not so funny is how superparanoia has led to not so quiet discomfort over a 'hunt' meant in jest.

Coupled with that superparanoia is the fact that our government may still have had prior information regarding the Septermber 11 attacks. Will this story ever die? As long as former Stanford Provost Condoleeza Rice can say information was "vague," I believe it will be perpetual.

A bit of light fluff. Sunday's Emmy Ceremony Winners.

And finally, Mitsubishi acts as hitmaker. Funny to see how much commercial media has influenced our pop culture. Think to yourself how many times you've seen a commercial and wondered, "What song is that?"

So I'm extra lazy today and decided that I'm not going to post the second part of my story because I re-read it, and it sucks. Horribly. Shall I scrap it or attempt to rewrite? I have no clue. At any rate, I do have some fun fun links today. Enjoy your clicking.

Super Monkey Ball 2
The Day and the Day Before
Eagle F1
Delta Inc.
Pesky
Untitled Document
Wall of Sites
Defenders of the Universe

Some semi-sad news to report. Well, only semi-sad if you care at least. I'm not going to be able to post a story today, since I don't feel that it's quite ready for consumption. I will, however, try and post it tomorrow. To tide you over until then, I'm posting some more lyrics for y'all. Scratch that, I'll post a poem. Enjoy.

JABBERWOCKY
by Lewis Carrol

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wade;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

42 Haiku.

Already hungry
At so early in the morn.
Will lunch never come?

What about you, Haiku?

Before Mario,
Nintendo made playing cards
Hana Futa rules!

Truthfully, this week is just a set up for an entirely exhausting weekend. Promising? Perhaps, if my Free Will Horoscope has anything to say about it:

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22):
In the course of human history, many other things have been used as money besides paper currency and precious metals. Among them have been tulips, seashells, cows, velvet, tobacco, elephant tusks, beetle legs, cheese, and giant stone wheels. I hope, Virgo, that these poetic variations on the theme will inspire you to designate a new form of legal tender in the coming weeks. The cosmic omens suggest you'll be exceptionally creative whenever you turn your thoughts to financial matters. Here are some questions to guide your explorations. What useful but undervalued beauty do you produce? Which of your unsung talents are finally ready to generate income? What hidden assets or neglected treasures could you turn into sources of wealth?

Ooh, hidden assets. Maybe this means I'm ready for that lucrative career in song and dance?

On with some news of a sort. An Australian comany is considering brewing alcoholic milk. Does this sound gross to you too? Maybe it'll be like Kalua? Or maybe even a white russian in a bottle? What's next, alcoholic gum?

Not only do we have worm virii on our computers, but now these worms are creating communities. Scary actually. It's like they have a mind of their own and their only thought is to take us down.

Think Kelly Clarkson from "American Idol" has it made? Think again.

The new season of "The Real World" has begun, this time in Las Vegas. What do we think of these people? Straight up Hos.

Want some more opinions? Try a few of these from The Onion on for size. Damn.

Late update today as I'm a tad busy at work. Believe it you must. I'll apologize ahead of time to the good people of Fantagraphics for the liberal 'using' of their images. It is quite necessary since I couldn't find any other suitable artwork to show you all how crazy Dan Clowes really is. I'd describe his artwork as 'funky.' In a timeless sort of way, his everyday imagery is slightly skewed in such a way to leave the viewer with an unsettled feeling. Perhaps it is his realistic depictions of people in surreal settings that is disturbing, but I believe it's the subject matter that is most bizarre. Perhaps some of you have seen Ghost World, which happens to have been based on a graphic novel of the same name by Mr. Clowes. Not only is it one of the more unique films to be released within the last few years, but it also was nominated for an Oscar in the category for Best Adapted Screenplay. This story is an example of one of his least unusual projects, but also one of his most accessible. I recommend it, and if you want, perhaps you can borrow it as well. Check out some of his artwork, and maybe you'll understand what I mean.

Surprisingly, not a whole lot of news to present this Monday. I will say that the weekend saw the return of the Golden Boy, and that I have seen things I can't begin to describe over the weekend. Check out these articles while you ponder that statement.

Quentin Tarantino's next movie, Kill Bill, might end up being the follow-up Jackie Brown should have been. What more do you need than Uma Thurman in a yellow tracksuit?

So the media furvor over "American Idol" has finally died down a bit. The reality talent search contest is just beginning, however. Just ask Jay Mohr.

Technology is amazing. Only in today's day and age can we get the miracle of glowing mice.

Last, but definitely not least, we have the story of cars powered by fuel cells. Fascinating technology that I've worked with in college. The hype on the idea has been huge in certain circles, but unfortunately, the integration of this new technology is painfully slow.

So as you can see, I've posted not one, but two stories. This is to make up for the lack of reading material on the blog as of late. This next one is somewhat special, because it's turning out to be longer than it should, so I'm splitting it up into parts. Hopefully it'll keep you all entertained enough that you'll want to read more. Hopefully.

Tattle-Tale

My latte grew cold as I patiently awaited my transfer. I had been to the Conservatory before, but this was a special trip. One that I hoped would garner me favor with the Corporation and secure a brisk promotion. I’d only been with them a smattering of months, but already I’d burned my name in the minds of several foundation heads with my blunt self-advertisement of ideas and through the maintenance of my presence in their weekly Estate Conferences. A crisp new suit and haircut I felt was the ticket to an even higher profile as well, but making sure I memorized every Adminassistants name was equally as imperative. Without them, how would I ever manage to score those important appointments most of my colleagues desperately sought.

Sipping from my cup, my mind flexed in anticipation. I checked the palmcorder on my wrist for the time and abruptly paced to and fro across the clean, alabaster floor. Throwing my cup away, I peered at my reflection in the ground, I gently smoothed down my hair in fretfulness. The shearing I’d received from the stylist was superb, but somehow I felt naked.

He’d calmly started to pace around the chair as I sat waiting for feedback. “They treat you well over there?”

“Excuse me?” I responded, somewhat perplexed at his direction.

“The Corporation. You do work there don’t you?” He was spot on. “You Transfer-Mediates always get the same pruning before it’s your time.”

The polyvinyl stool stretched underneath, squeaking, as I adjusted my position. “Well, I don’t know if it’s my time just yet, but I hope to be ready if it is.”

“Good luck.”

It seems even the most trivial of acquaintances knew my work, or at least of related ideas of my work. Feigning ignorance over small conversations pertaining to my employment was useless. Citizens knew what you did when they recognized that blank, glossy look in your eyes. A brilliant side-effect of measures the conservatory Admittance men had on my fellow Corporatitions. Mine had long since gone from a cerulean blue to lucid gray years ago, during the early years of Doctrinal Exposure, Reservational Continuity, and Transitional Permanence. “I miss the clouds in your eyes when the sun was out.” My mother would tell me now.

The reminder implant underneath my right earlobe buzzed as my supposed appointment time passed. Conservatory call-ups were rarely on time. Many speculated it was a tactic meant to test and frustrate. Personally, I felt relieved I had those extra hours to avoid confrontation.

I took this knowledge to stroll through the towering outer doors. Frosted glass covering each imposing portal as a reminder that we could see out when others could not see in. Just how we liked it. A taxi scooted by, all three wheels above-ground buzzing across the grassy streetways with passengers I thought I recognized. Its pale yellow sheen glittered in the warm autumn sunlight obscuring them. Another distraction I did not desire as my mind should stay focused on answering dogmatic inquiries. My confidence wavered, but fleeing to the indoor safety would only cause more panic.

Despite the need for focus, I wandered to the nearest commport for immediate informational discharge. Several were occupied at the moment, but there always happened to be one available when necessary. It’s as if the city knew you were craving that media fix and sprouted new commport as needed. Maybe one was born for every 10 new Citizens. Hard to fathom, but conceivable.

Extracting the serial cord from my palmcorder, I numbly plugged myself in and awaited my daily dose. Each commport monitor was encased in a luminescent concave shell that appeared to reflect the mood of the user. Mine turned a fastidious shade of orange, but I wished it had been a peaceful aquamarine. Unfortunately as this crossed my mind, the orange exploded with furious lemon flecks.

It seemed the International Takeover Act was progressing smoothly, with each Media Blitzkrieg enveloping smaller Business Units every day. Third-party entrants without Corporate Political Tech were swallowed whole. Independent Manufacturing Bodies disappeared inside the surrounding Electoral Advertisement Monoliths. Without Corporate Sponsorship, these governing structures rarely were able to tread water.

My implant vibrated tenaciously again, signaling my presence was necessary. Unplugging the s-cord swiftly, my feet turned and brought my body to bear towards the conservatory. Pressing flat soles to the cement, I proceeded through the entrance and reset my attentions towards the imminent exams. A stocky Admittance man approached me.

“It’s your time.” His flat tone did not strike me as odd. His vapid expression spoke volumes about our business. A thick, red armband he wore in concert with his inky uniform was unusual, however. My confusion could not be contained as my voice answered back waveringly.

“Lead the way.” I’d hoped these words would come out strongly, but instead I spat them out as if they’d been a bad lunch within my stomach.

Pointing two fingers as obvious direction, he grunted in agreement. The reply was curt, but rightfully so, Admittance men had more important matters to attend to than to escort young Employees as myself. I only hoped my meeting would go well. No Employee wants to face the Conservatory Bloodhounds, but as I said before, it was my time.